Monday, July 18, 2011

The End

11 years under threats.. What a life I lead. I tell you, as I sit back here in this empty room starring into this white piece of paper, I feel so alone. It's unbelievable how everything can be so messed up. Money, power, respect.

Everything a man could wish for, I have. For how long? I can't really tell, I can't see the future, but any day now I know I'll see my mother again.

Is it sad that I look forward to it? Living in paranoia is worse than dying. I guess I can't blame anybody but myself, after all I always criticised those who blamed their surroundings for their actions.

I lived my life to the fullest, who I stepped on I didn't care.. Alcohol, drugs, women, I had it all. It all never compensated for the distance it drew between me and my family, how I could never be seen anywhere near any of my brothers or sisters. I was lucky enough to be able to share some time with my mother every 6-8 months, and even more lucky that death gave me the honor of being present when she passed away.

It wasn't hard to get to where I am at right now, people either have it or they don't. I always told myself I was never born to serve, I always somehow felt that I was meant to lead. Even as a little kid buying cocaine from the local hustlers, I always envisioned everything they were doing wrong. Always thought to myself how I could do it better and the missed opportunities they were throwing away.

I don't know how to start telling this story, all I know is that it's something very well worth telling. My name I will hide for now, I guess it won't be forever, eventually I'll find a way of linking this to myself.. But for now, I will be named Uneducated.


I thank all of you who will take the time to read my story and I will try to be as sincere as I can.


-Uneducated

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